I'm not a person, who watches news on TV or reads newspapers, so I missed the very beginning of the pandemic. I mean, I was receiving some signals about it, but I didn't care that much. I only got concerned when I realised someone I know and care about was in China at the same time the whole mess started getting serious. Fortunately, she's fine. More, after coming back to Poland she assured me the epidemic wasn't as bad as media was painting it. I felt relieved.
The relief lasted short. Very short.
When I heard about COVID-19 appearing in Europe, I pretended I didn't care. However, deep inside, I was afraid. I was afraid of the plague. Of the quarantine. Of the virus coming to Poland. Of having my life disrupted. But I tried to hide it. I was acting cold and indifferent, criticizing the quickly escalating panic and people, who made laughs of the epidemic. I quickly became fed up of the topic. Not that it was difficult – wherever I went, someone was mentioning coronavirus. Acting with slight disdain towards it was my only way of fighting with growing fear.
And then shit hit the fan.
When information about first instances of COVID-19 in Poland came out, people went absolutely mad. They were buying unholy amounts of soap and antiseptic gel, wearing surgical masks and basically hoarding supplies. You know, like world was about to end. My pole dance trainer even told my group she had problems with getting spirit to make pole-cleaning solution.
I shrugged it all off. People were just panicking, right?
Right.
And then my university cancelled all classes.
Shit, that escalated quickly.
***
Due to horrible pollen allergy, I have constantly running nose.
Last Tuesday I was coming home by bus. At one point, I sneezed. Actually, it was a pretty elegant sneeze – not too loud, with mouth and nose covered with arm.
Fuck, just ordinary sneeze by ordinary person. And yet an older lady, who was sitting next to me, ran to the other end of the bus like she was being chased.
***
I mentioned people started to hoard supplies, yeah? Well, you can only imagine what's happening now.
On Wednesday I had to do some shopping. The drug store I was to got rummaged some time earlier. People had bought all soaps, antiseptics, toilet paper, wet tissues... And condoms. No, really.
When I entered my neighbourhood's hypermarket, I was greeted with empty shelves and freezers. To be honest, it looked like it had been visited by people preparing to zombie apocalypse. Frozen food, canned food, noodles, rice, sanitary pads, tissues, toilet paper, most things were already gone. I couldn't even find bloody lactose-free butter. Holy shit, what were people going to do with such absurd amounts of frozen meat, butter and condoms?!
.
.
.
You know, actually, I don't want to know. Sometimes ignorance is bliss.
***
I'm torn.
My rational side insists on being distanced and collected. However, my emotional one has already gone crazy with fear. And I sway between these two states. One moment I'm calmly discussing with others if Polish government is doing well with containment procedures. Half an hour later I'm wildly washing my hands and disinfecting my cell phone (and mind the fact I've been a hygiene freak for most of my life, so if I do some more washing than usual it means the situation is really bad). In the morning I exchange coronavirus memes and plague doctors GIFs with my best friend. In the evening I cry, because I'm worried about my friends and family.
I feel overwhelmed. I want to leave my house. To attend some classes. To meet my best friend and eat together at my favourite Asian restaurant.
I. Want. This. Madness. To. End.
But this madness seems to have different plans.
***
So, what am I going to do now?
First thing, stay sane. Somehow. It will be difficult, given the fact I succumb to panic pretty easily (media having only bad news about the virus definitely don't help), but I can't let some stupid virus mess with me. At least not without fight.
Secondly: stay healthy. I don't want to catch something and then infect my family.
And last, but not least: stay at home. My university has already started preparations to on-line courses. Also, I want to catch up with books and drawing. And movies. And games. And sleep.
There is no thing like "too much sleep".
And I recommend you doing the same.
Stay safe, sweethearts! Remember to wash your hands! And don't let the overall panic take over your lives!
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