Hello, sweethearts!
I know, I know, I promised to write about Eurovision months ago, back in May. However, shit happened and I had to push it in time. But! Better late than never, isn't it? (Why am I having a déjà vu right now? Did I write the same thing last year or what?) Especially this year, when there was a lot going on on the stage!
From time to time.
Watching the 2022 Eurovision Song Contest was a lot of fun. Italy did great job with preparing the event and the hosts were really charming. There was also a rather wide array of entries... In the semis. Because, let me be honest, the final was unfortunately quite boring when it comes to music – for some reason, the songs that got qualified were mainly ballads and you all know how I feel about Eurovision ballads. And to say this year was plentiful in them is an understatement.
But we'll get to it in the second part of the post, when I talk about the qualified songs. Now, let's recap the ones that didn't get into the final!
40. Slovenia: "Disko" by LPS
Such a cute, funky song! It may not be in my taste, but I'm still quite sad it scored so low. It's catchy and the performance is well choreographed. Also, the vocalist has really pleasant voice and the whole band – a lot of charm.
I really was sure I'd see LPS in the finals. Quite a pity...
39. Georgia: "Lock Me In" by Circus Mircus
I'm always up for some interesting costumes and these guys definitely nailed it. I mean, we have some steampunk (I love the vocalist's googles!), a spiky mask, a sparkly pirate with a diorama (I wish you could see my face when it opened... I expected a lot, but not this!) and a guy with flower beard. It's creative and stands out, just as an ESC entry should. The song is very pleasant too, especially the chorus.
To be honest, I was sure Georgia would qualify and, similarly to Slovenia, seeing it at the bottom of the scoreboard is heartbreaking.
38. Bulgaria: "Intention" by Intelligent Music Project
After Måneskin's win last year, I was sure 2022 would be plentiful in rock music, with most of the songs qualifying.
Well, you've already seen how good I am in making predictions.
"Intention" is a bit generic, but it doesn't mean it's bad. The instrumental sounds good, especially the guitar solo, and the vocal is really solid. The staging is good too and fits the song pretty well. Also, pyros. Pyros are always welcome.
37. Montenegro: "Breathe" by Vladana
And here we are, first of many ballads in this year's listing...
I have to admit, the vocals are great here, Vladana has some skills. The rest however... I feel like I've already heard this song. Many, many times. It's nothing interesting, unfortunately. The language change is nice though and to be honest, I think this song would work better if it wasn't mainly in English.
Also, I need to have a word with the costume designer. I mean, the dress is fine... But what the fuck is this shining plate on Vladana's back?!
36. Austria: "Halo" by LUM!X and Pia Maria
This is one of my absolute favourites from this year and while I low-key expected it wouldn't qualify (the vocals... Pia did her best and should be proud of herself, but unfortunately, the single version sounds better...), I still was heartbroken. This song is awesome: energetic, catchy, Austria made whole audience dance with it! Perfect example of well-made electro.
Also, the staging is quite nice. Lights, fog, some pyros synced with beat, it highlighted the music well. But it was still nothing when compared to the energy of the performers: it's incredible how engaged they're in the music. I enjoyed the performance so much!
Last but not least: I love how Pia Maria looks. Her hair, her make-up, her jewellery, her outfit... Everything is so pretty!
35. Malta: "I Am What I Am" by Emma Muscat
Another ballad, this type a power one. Again, we've all heard this song already. It's not bad, it's just nothing special. Same goes for the overall performance. I mean, the dancing is quite nice... But it doesn't help much. Damn, even the costume has already been done – we have some dresses that would make a disco ball jealous basically every year!
I wouldn't be so critical towards this entry, there's nothing wrong in reusing concepts... If there was something really captivating. And, unfortunately, there is none.
Also, one more thing: GET OFF THE GODDAM PIANO, FOR FUCK'S SAKE!!!
34. Ireland: "That's Rich" by Brooke Scullion
It's not what I usually listen to, but I have to admit, I enjoyed this entry a lot. Brooke has amazing energy on stage and the song as a whole is really catchy. Also, I absolutely love the staging. The dancing is awesome and the special effects complement everything really well. "That's Rich" is a solid entry and it's a bit of a pity it didn't qualify.
Also: I love Brooke's costume. It just looks so good!
33. San Marino: "Stripper" by Achille Lauro
Out of all songs, this is the one that I was legit pissed about not getting qualified. It has everything! Energy? Check. Fire? Check. Killer guitar solo? Check. Outrageous outfits?! Glittery cowboy hat?! CAGES?! BULL?! GAY KISS?!
THIS is what Eurovision is about: great music accompanied by incredible performance. Achille's charisma is unmatched, he stole the show during the semi. Fuck, the whole band stole the show! Have you seen the guitarist? Or the drummer? Everyone gave 100% into the performance and it shows!
Also, the staging is incredible. The choreography, the camera movement, the lights, everything brings the best out of "Stripper". And the bull at the end, holy fuck, the bull! It wouldn't be an overstatement to say my jaw fucking dropped when Achille continued singing while riding this goddam thing.
Really, this is definitely one of my absolute favourites this year and I'm still incredibly mad it didn't qualify. However, turns out the power of gay and horny was too much for everyone. Cowards.
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| Cowards!!! |
32. Latvia: "Eat Your Salad" by Citi Zēni
So, about everyone getting scared by horny.
To be honest, I don't like this song much... But still, the performance itself is very enjoyable. It's colourful (the suits! They look great!), light-hearted and so energetic, you can't help but dance. Also, can we appreciate how Citi Zēni made everyone yell "pussy" during a live show? Come on, this is an achievement.
Unfortunately, seems that instead of salad people preferred some
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| Alright, I'll see myself out... |
31. Denmark: "The Show" by Reddi
To be honest, I wasn't keen on this entry at the beginning... And then the guitars kicked in and I fell in love. Is there anything better than a girl rock band with a catchy song on eurovisional stage?
The performance is really energetic and the musicians poured their whole hearts into it. I was so disappointed they didn't qualify, they definitely deserved it. They would make the final much, much better.
Also, can we focus on the drummer for a while? I love how cheerful and enthusiastic she was, I couldn't take my eyes off her for the whole song.
30. Israel: "I.M" by Michael Ben David
Not gonna lie, I enjoyed this performance a lot. Michael Ben David has a lot of charisma on stage, he also did great job singing and dancing at the same time – something that many vocalists can't do. However, I have to admit I wasn't very sad when Israel didn't qualify. The reason was simple.
Off stage, David's behaviour was incredibly annoying. He was touchy and didn't care if he was causing others discomfort. It was especially egregious when hosts were announcing start of the voting. I was surprised no-one told him to fuck off and sit on his ass by his country's table like every other contestant.
29. Cyprus: "Ela" by Andromache
I was a bit sad this entry didn't get qualified though. It's a really charming song with an atmospheric performance. Staging, choreography, lighting, costumes, everything works so well with the music, with its vibes, it's such a pleasure to watch. Also, I was really impressed by the dancers – this big shell thing doesn't look easy to walk, not to mention dance, on and yet they did so well!
28. Albania: "Sekret" by Ronela Hajati
Albania performed first in the first semi and to say it was one hell of a strong opening is to say nothing.
"Sekret" is an incredible song. It's powerful and enchanting, it deserved the best. Personally, I think the performance itself did it justice: it's sensual and full of passion, it's just sexy in the best possible way. I also love all the ethnic elements, they blend really well with the entry. And the onstage energy is wonderful: Ronela did amazing, so did the dancers. I was rooting for them so hard!
27. North Macedonia: "Circles" by Andrea
This entry is... Decent. The vocal is good and quite emotional, the song itself is okay, the staging fits it well. I liked it... But not enough to actually miss it during the final.
However, I have to say, I love Andrea's hair. It's so pretty!
26. Croatia: "Guilty Pleasure" by Mia Dimšić
Um, are the straights okay?
The song is totally not my cup of tea. However, I quite like the moment Mia sings in Croatian – quite a pity not all lyrics here are in this language.
Also, I'm not an expert in fashion, but I don't think these shoes fit that dress...
***
This concludes the overview of the songs that didn't qualify to the final. Get ready for the next time, we still have 25 entries to go!
Stay tuned!
Image sources:
San Marino kiss was screenshot by me from the official recording of live performance.
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