The year everyone said "no horny!" (ESC 2022 2/2)

In hindsight, it's incredibly funny how my mood changes during the contest. I'm always really excited before the show, have a lot of fun during the semis... And then get mad at the results the next day.

Or at least this is how it looked like this year.

While I still enjoyed the final, I couldn't help but be a bit bitter that most of my favourites didn't qualify. And that the songs I liked the least took their place.

Which songs am I talking about? Well, let's recount what happened in the final of Eurovision 2022 and see!

25. Germany: "Rockstars" by Malik Harris

To say this song is giving me a massive déjà vu is to say nothing. I'm sure I've already heard something with similar melody, especially the vocal part. Which... Kinda sums up this entry pretty well.

 

We've already heard that. Many times. Nothing new.

Okay, maybe except for this talked part. Which, to be honest, sounds like someone cut it from completely different track and pasted in the middle of this one.

On a more positive note – I like the idea with instruments arranged in circle, with them getting added to the music when Malik uses each. That was nice.

However, I still think Germany should have sent Electric Callboy. With how energetic these guys are, I'm sure they'd rock the scene!

24. France: "Fulenn" by Alvan & Ahez

You know, usually I abstain from saying that a country was robbed... But sweet Arceus, France was fucking robbed this year!

"Fulenn" is one of the highlights of Eurovision 2022 and it pisses me off so much it ended so low. It's unique. Atmospheric. Sensual. And incredibly beautiful. It's a song about dancing in the forest that actually makes you want to dance in the forest! And it's in Breton, language we usually don't get music in! And it sounds awesome!

 

Also, let's show some appreciation for the dancer. She was wonderful.

 

(By the way, fun fact: there wasn't a single song in French this year. Actually, there wasn't a single line in French, first time in general. Interesting, isn't it?)

23. Iceland: "Með Hækkandi Sól" by Systur

A very soft tune with some western vibes. Not something I usually listen to... But I have to admit, I kinda like it. Especially the vocals, they're very pleasant.

 

Also, Icelandic is such a pretty language, isn't it?

 

22. Czech Republic: "Lights Off" by We Are Domi

There's never enough electronic music during Eurovision, especially such danceable one. This song is so catchy, it's hard not to bounce while listening to it! We Are Domi did amazing job during the performance, they had so much energy on stage!

 

Another great thing about "Lights Off" is vocal. Dominika Hašková nailed it!

Also, purple. Purple, purple, purple.

21. Finland: "Jezebel" by The Rasmus

To be honest, despite its cult status, I've never heard about this band until this year. And while "Jezebel" isn't their top, this entry is actually pretty nice. The Rasmus are really energetic and infect the audience with said energy. You can also see how much they are into performing – their smiles are so genuine! This all compensates the fact the song isn't very special on its own.

 

I also have to admit, I like the reference to "It". I have no idea how it relates to the song... But it was cool. However, one question: did anyone later removed the balloons (one during the semi and one during the final) from under the ceiling? Or are they still there?

After his death, Georgie reincarnated into a Finnish rockstar.

20. Armenia: "Snap" by Rosa Linn

This is exactly how my room looks like when the spring allergy hits – tissues, tissues everywhere.

 

Objectively speaking, this entry is not bad. The stage setting is interesting, the vocals good... However, there is something in the instrumental I just can't stand. There is no reason for the song to piss me off so much and yet, I can't listen to it. Why? We'll never know...

19. Belgium: "Miss You" by Jérémie Makiese

I like the choreography in this one... And to be honest, that's all.

 

Unfortunately, this entry is one of the most boring ones. Apart from the dancers, nothing happens here. The song isn't captivating either – it sounds like soundtrack of a romantic movie, playing in a scene where the protagonist walks through the busy American city, sulking. And this is definitely not a compliment. Quite a pity...

18. Romania: "Llámame" by WRS

It's official: Romania out-Spained Spain this year.

And it's awesome.

I love everything about this entry. The song is catchy, the dancing energetic, the costumes daring, it's just perfect! It also has some string queer vibes, which make it even better. It's also very, very hot, with all the sensual dance moves and singer's charisma. I'm legit surprised it didn't end in top 10. Romania definitely deserved it. So sexy!

I'm not immune to pretty people in body glitter, okay?

17. Switzerland: "Boys Do Cry" by Marius Bear

"Snap" might be pissing me off by no reason, but this is the entry that I loathe the most. One that makes me question what the fuck it was doing there, especially in the final. If in "Miss You" nothing happens, here nothing happens even MORE. This is the ultimate boredom, it should be listed under its definition in dictionary. Like. What the fuck, Switzerland?!

I miss Gjon...

16. Azerbaijan: "Fade to Black" by Nadir Rustamli

I have to admit, I kinda like the chorus. Unfortunately, the chorus doesn't make the whole song, so... Yeah. I'm not fond of this entry either.

Also, seeing the dancer do all these wild swings while standing on these stairs gave me anxiety. Like. How the hell didn't he fall?!

15. Australia: "Not the Same" by Sheldon Riley

The vocals are great here, Sheldon Riley really has the power. However, this can't be said about rest of the song. Another boring ballad...

 

From the whole entry, I think I liked the costume the most. It's extravagant and looks great, especially the headwear. Shine, shiny~

 

14. Lithuania: "Sentimentai" by Monika Liu

I totally can't see the appeal off this song... Like, don't get me wrong, it's very well performed and stuff. It's just not my type of music.

I love how Monika Liu is enjoying singing, though. She's so expressive and just vibes, it's a pleasure to see.

Also, I want this dress. Shiny!

13. Estonia: "Hope" by Stefan

Okay, what the hell is with ESC2022 and all these western themed entries?! This one is third. THIRD. Is 2022 a year of a cowboy or what?!

However, I can't deny "Hope" has some kind of charm. I don't know if it's the vibes, Stefan's performance or what... It's nice.

There is only one thing that's bothering me: how many times did Stefan have to practice this jump over the fountain? And did he land in the water at least once? The gap looks huge...

12. Poland: "River" by Ochman

Alright, sweethearts, it's official: the world is fucking ending. Or in other words: Poland had a decent Eurovision entry.

Of course, it's still another goddamn ballad. However, it's objectively good. It's atmospheric and, most importantly, the live performance didn't make me want to claw my ears and eyes out and die from cringe (yeah, I'm still not over the disaster from last year...). Mad kudos to Krystian Ochman, he did the impossible. I'm really impressed.

11. Netherlands: "De Diepte" by S10

Yes, S10 had really beautiful voice. Yes, Dutch is a pretty language. But none of this changes the fact "De Diepte" is just another boring ballad entry. And maybe I'll leave it like that...

10. Norway: "Give That Wolf a Banana" by Subwoolfer

FINALLY NOT A BALLAD!!!

But really, THIS is what Eurovision is about: catchy music, crazy costumes, silly choreographies... Just fun. And space furries singing about eating bananas are fun incarnated.

Really, saying that Norway was my personal favourite from this year's final would be an understatement. "Give That Wolf a Banana" is perfect. Just perfect. And Keith and Jim are such adorable dorks (who never went out of character through whole contest!), it was hard not to root for them.

Remember how they gave Mika a hug?

Ultimate "awwwwwwwwww" moment!

(By the way, the song they released in July slaps. Hard).

 

9. Portugal: "Saudade, saudade" by MARO

I have a problem with this entry.

On one hand, it's another ballad. But on the other... There is something mesmerising about its moody atmosphere, minimalist staging and the feeling of intimacy created by positioning all singers in a circle, facing each other. Also, I can't deny, MARO has really beautiful voice. And hair.

I wish I could do braids on myself...

8. Greece: "Die Together" by Amanda Georgiadi Tenfjord

I really like the singing here, especially the powerful note at the end. Also, the synth effects on backing vocals sound good, like something out of an Imogen Heap song. But the rest... I know I'm saying it a lot, but I'll do it again: I've already heard this song. And it's a bit boring.

Also, what the fuck is her dress made of?!

Not gonna lie, these chairs are giving me strong "we have Salvador Dalí at home" vibe...

7. Moldova: "Trenulețul" by Zdob şi Zdub & Advahov Brothers

Moldova is one of the very few countries this year, who understood the Eurovisional assignment. "Trenulețul" is not only a great song with nice folk elements and very catchy melody. Zdob şi Zdub & Advahov Brothers brought a lot of positive energy on stage, so much needed in the year drowning in ballads. Their enthusiasm is contagious, it's hard not to smile while watching this entry.

Also, can we focus for a moment on how well choreographed this performance is? Every move is planned and just fits into the show. At the same time, it all looks very natural. Really, it's incredible.

And I absolutely love the guitar solo – undeniably best part of the song.

6. Italy: "Brividi" by Mahmood & Blanco

Last year, Italy slayed. This year... Well. You see.

To be honest, the only thing I like about this entry is Mahmood's piercings. These crystals look quite good, especially with the suit... Blanco's costume is one big wtf though. I'm starting to suspect they were dressed by two completely different costuming departments, who didn't contact each other...

Also, one more thing.

Blanco, would you kindly GET THE FUCK OFF THE PIANO?! Thank you.

5. Serbia: "In Corpore Sano" by Konstrakta

There she is – our Serbian queen of hygiene.

It's hard to express in words how much I love this entry. The mesmerising rhythm, accentuated by clapping, and slightly cultish vibes of the performance makes it hard not to lose oneself in it. At the same time, the lyrics are more than just about hydration and health – "In Corpore Sano" is focused on pretty fucked up situation of artists in Serbia. As Konstrakta notices, you don't have health insurance as an artist, which leaves you on your own in the case of illness. So, only thing you can do is hope you'll biti zdrava.

 

Also, while Serbian is a really beautiful language, I love the Latin part. I wish there was more (non-church) music in this language...

 

 4. Sweden: "Hold Me Closer" by Cornelia Jakobs

The number of entries this year that can be the best described as "generic" is truly scary... Like, again: this song is not bad. Except for quite interesting vocals, it's just nothing special. And can someone explain me what the hell this giant spinning plate is?!

 

I kinda like the attire, though. The long sparkly strings really do look nice.

3. Spain: "SloMo" by Chanel

Spain might have gotten more points, but I still think that Romania spained better.

Jokes aside, this entry is actually really good. While the song is only okay, the staging and choreography are outstanding. The dancing is so wild and sexy, it's impossible to take one's eyes away. I especially like the part after Chanel takes off the jacket. She slays.

Damn, this entry is whole three minutes of Chanel slaying. And it's awesome.

2. United Kingdom: "Space Man" by Sam Ryder

My boyfriend is American. At the beginning of May, he asked me to explain Eurovision to him. Among other crucial information, I told him about UK's many fails and jokingly added that "no one likes UK".

I think you can guess how dumb I felt when I saw that this year, UK was fucking second.

To be honest, I totally don't get what's the difference between this entry and the ones from previous years. It's similar forgettable stuff we get almost every year and yet 2022 got treated differently. Is it because of the high notes? Of the (quite cool, I have to admit) guitar solo? We'll never know...

1. Ukraine: "Stefania" by Kalush Orchestra

Many people said that Ukraine has won because of political reasons. That they got votes because others were sorry for them. Guess what?

I don't give a flying fuck about it.

The victory of Ukraine is well-deserved. "Stefania" is an incredible entry. It's a perfect mix of folklore and modern elements: traditional singing blends with rapping, folk instruments with hip-hop beat, breakdance choreography is performed by a dancer dressed as a character from Ukrainian legends. And the song itself is so amazingly catchy, I couldn't get it out of my head for months after the contest.

Also, can we appreciate the return of the Cute Sopilka Guy, Ihor Didenchuk?

You go, Ihor! You're the best!

Seriously, I couldn't be happier with the winner of Eurovision 2022. Well done, Ukraine. Well done!

***

Because of the ongoing war, Eurovision 2023 will be hosted in UK. At the moment of writing, the city has already been announced: Liverpool. To be honest, I'm not sure if this is a good idea. I mean, okay, UK came second. However, given the recent events – death of the queen and coronation of the new monarch – I don't think UK should host the contest either. Not only is it battling a lot of economic issues right now, I'm afraid the ruler situation will push the winner aside. And Ukraine deserves to be celebrated properly.

However, despite the fact Eurovision 2023 is closer than further (once again, I'm sorry for the delay...), there is still a lot of stuff that hasn't been settled yet. Who knows what might change until May... For now, let's all be happy because of Ukraine's win.

And let's hope there won't be as many ballads next year, I really can't take it any more...

 

All images (except for the hug one) were screenshot from the videos embedded in this post.

The hug was screenshot from https://youtu.be/JMVoEdJYW6Y

The year everyone said "no horny!" (ESC 2022 1/2)

Hello, sweethearts!

I know, I know, I promised to write about Eurovision months ago, back in May. However, shit happened and I had to push it in time. But! Better late than never, isn't it? (Why am I having a déjà vu right now? Did I write the same thing last year or what?) Especially this year, when there was a lot going on on the stage!

From time to time.

Watching the 2022 Eurovision Song Contest was a lot of fun. Italy did great job with preparing the event and the hosts were really charming. There was also a rather wide array of entries... In the semis. Because, let me be honest, the final was unfortunately quite boring when it comes to music – for some reason, the songs that got qualified were mainly ballads and you all know how I feel about Eurovision ballads. And to say this year was plentiful in them is an understatement.

But we'll get to it in the second part of the post, when I talk about the qualified songs. Now, let's recap the ones that didn't get into the final!

40. Slovenia: "Disko" by LPS

Such a cute, funky song! It may not be in my taste, but I'm still quite sad it scored so low. It's catchy and the performance is well choreographed. Also, the vocalist has really pleasant voice and the whole band – a lot of charm.

 

I really was sure I'd see LPS in the finals. Quite a pity... 

39. Georgia: "Lock Me In" by Circus Mircus

I'm always up for some interesting costumes and these guys definitely nailed it. I mean, we have some steampunk (I love the vocalist's googles!), a spiky mask, a sparkly pirate with a diorama (I wish you could see my face when it opened... I expected a lot, but not this!) and a guy with flower beard. It's creative and stands out, just as an ESC entry should. The song is very pleasant too, especially the chorus.

 

To be honest, I was sure Georgia would qualify and, similarly to Slovenia, seeing it at the bottom of the scoreboard is heartbreaking.

38. Bulgaria: "Intention" by Intelligent Music Project

After Måneskin's win last year, I was sure 2022 would be plentiful in rock music, with most of the songs qualifying.

 

Well, you've already seen how good I am in making predictions.

 

"Intention" is a bit generic, but it doesn't mean it's bad. The instrumental sounds good, especially the guitar solo, and the vocal is really solid. The staging is good too and fits the song pretty well. Also, pyros. Pyros are always welcome.

37. Montenegro: "Breathe" by Vladana

And here we are, first of many ballads in this year's listing...

 

I have to admit, the vocals are great here, Vladana has some skills. The rest however... I feel like I've already heard this song. Many, many times. It's nothing interesting, unfortunately. The language change is nice though and to be honest, I think this song would work better if it wasn't mainly in English.

Also, I need to have a word with the costume designer. I mean, the dress is fine... But what the fuck is this shining plate on Vladana's back?!

36. Austria: "Halo" by LUM!X and Pia Maria

This is one of my absolute favourites from this year and while I low-key expected it wouldn't qualify (the vocals... Pia did her best and should be proud of herself, but unfortunately, the single version sounds better...), I still was heartbroken. This song is awesome: energetic, catchy, Austria made whole audience dance with it! Perfect example of well-made electro.

 

Also, the staging is quite nice. Lights, fog, some pyros synced with beat, it highlighted the music well. But it was still nothing when compared to the energy of the performers: it's incredible how engaged they're in the music. I enjoyed the performance so much!

Last but not least: I love how Pia Maria looks. Her hair, her make-up, her jewellery, her outfit... Everything is so pretty!

35. Malta: "I Am What I Am" by Emma Muscat

Another ballad, this type a power one. Again, we've all heard this song already. It's not bad, it's just nothing special. Same goes for the overall performance. I mean, the dancing is quite nice... But it doesn't help much. Damn, even the costume has already been done – we have some dresses that would make a disco ball jealous basically every year!

I wouldn't be so critical towards this entry, there's nothing wrong in reusing concepts... If there was something really captivating. And, unfortunately, there is none.

Also, one more thing: GET OFF THE GODDAM PIANO, FOR FUCK'S SAKE!!!

34. Ireland: "That's Rich" by Brooke Scullion

It's not what I usually listen to, but I have to admit, I enjoyed this entry a lot. Brooke has amazing energy on stage and the song as a whole is really catchy. Also, I absolutely love the staging. The dancing is awesome and the special effects complement everything really well. "That's Rich" is a solid entry and it's a bit of a pity it didn't qualify.

 

Also: I love Brooke's costume. It just looks so good!

33. San Marino: "Stripper" by Achille Lauro

Out of all songs, this is the one that I was legit pissed about not getting qualified. It has everything! Energy? Check. Fire? Check. Killer guitar solo? Check. Outrageous outfits?! Glittery cowboy hat?! CAGES?! BULL?! GAY KISS?!

 

THIS is what Eurovision is about: great music accompanied by incredible performance. Achille's charisma is unmatched, he stole the show during the semi. Fuck, the whole band stole the show! Have you seen the guitarist? Or the drummer? Everyone gave 100% into the performance and it shows!

Also, the staging is incredible. The choreography, the camera movement, the lights, everything brings the best out of "Stripper". And the bull at the end, holy fuck, the bull! It wouldn't be an overstatement to say my jaw fucking dropped when Achille continued singing while riding this goddam thing.

Really, this is definitely one of my absolute favourites this year and I'm still incredibly mad it didn't qualify. However, turns out the power of gay and horny was too much for everyone. Cowards.

Cowards!!!

32. Latvia: "Eat Your Salad" by Citi Zēni

So, about everyone getting scared by horny.

 

To be honest, I don't like this song much... But still, the performance itself is very enjoyable. It's colourful (the suits! They look great!), light-hearted and so energetic, you can't help but dance. Also, can we appreciate how Citi Zēni made everyone yell "pussy" during a live show? Come on, this is an achievement.

Unfortunately, seems that instead of salad people preferred some

Alright, I'll see myself out...

31. Denmark: "The Show" by Reddi

To be honest, I wasn't keen on this entry at the beginning... And then the guitars kicked in and I fell in love. Is there anything better than a girl rock band with a catchy song on eurovisional stage?

The performance is really energetic and the musicians poured their whole hearts into it. I was so disappointed they didn't qualify, they definitely deserved it. They would make the final much, much better.

 

Also, can we focus on the drummer for a while? I love how cheerful and enthusiastic she was, I couldn't take my eyes off her for the whole song.

30. Israel: "I.M" by Michael Ben David

Not gonna lie, I enjoyed this performance a lot. Michael Ben David has a lot of charisma on stage, he also did great job singing and dancing at the same time – something that many vocalists can't do. However, I have to admit I wasn't very sad when Israel didn't qualify. The reason was simple.

 

Off stage, David's behaviour was incredibly annoying.  He was touchy and didn't care if he was causing others discomfort. It was especially egregious when hosts were announcing start of the voting. I was surprised no-one told him to fuck off and sit on his ass by his country's table like every other contestant.

29. Cyprus: "Ela" by Andromache

I was a bit sad this entry didn't get qualified though. It's a really charming song with an atmospheric performance. Staging, choreography, lighting, costumes, everything works so well with the music, with its vibes, it's such a pleasure to watch. Also, I was really impressed by the dancers – this big shell thing doesn't look easy to walk, not to mention dance, on and yet they did so well!

 

28. Albania: "Sekret" by Ronela Hajati

Albania performed first in the first semi and to say it was one hell of a strong opening is to say nothing.

 

"Sekret" is an incredible song. It's powerful and enchanting, it deserved the best. Personally, I think the performance itself did it justice: it's sensual and full of passion, it's just sexy in the best possible way. I also love all the ethnic elements, they blend really well with the entry. And the onstage energy is wonderful: Ronela did amazing, so did the dancers. I was rooting for them so hard!

27. North Macedonia: "Circles" by Andrea

This entry is... Decent. The vocal is good and quite emotional, the song itself is okay, the staging fits it well. I liked it... But not enough to actually miss it during the final.

 

However, I have to say, I love Andrea's hair. It's so pretty!

 

26. Croatia: "Guilty Pleasure" by Mia Dimšić

Um, are the straights okay?

The song is totally not my cup of tea. However, I quite like the moment Mia sings in Croatian – quite a pity not all lyrics here are in this language.

Also, I'm not an expert in fashion, but I don't think these shoes fit that dress...

***

This concludes the overview of the songs that didn't qualify to the final. Get ready for the next time, we still have 25 entries to go!

Stay tuned!

Image sources:

San Marino kiss was screenshot by me from the official recording of live performance.

Sosig: https://knowyourmeme.com/photos/1153932-sosig

Can I offer you a nice egg in this trying time?

Hello, sweethearts! 💜

Heh, it's been a while, hasn't it?

I'm really sorry for the long, unannounced hiatus. If you follow me on Twitter, then you know why I had to step back a little, but if you don't: this academic term was a massive shitshow with all the exams, assignments, my bachelor thesis (which, at the moment of writing this, isn't finished yet, and probably won't be soon...) and, on top of everything, my both physical and mental health suddenly failing. However, I'm doing a bit better now (or at least trying), so while I can't promise I'll publish new stuff regularly here, I'll try to do my best!

Despite many problems in my life, I couldn't not let myself go to a few screenings during this year's New Horizons IFF. And while I planned to write my coming-back-to-life post about this year's Eurovision, one of the festival movies was so interesting, I felt the urge to review it the moment I left the cinema (don't worry about the ESC though – I will write the posts. No idea, when, but I will. I promise).

That movie was "Hatching".

Don't ask me how to read the original Finnish name, I have no bloody idea.

"Hatching" is a debut movie by the director Hanna Bergholm. The story follows a young gymnast Tinja (Siiri Solalinna), who's living a seemingly perfect life with her mother (Sophia Heikkilä), a family vlogger, her father (Jani Volanen) and her younger brother Matias (Oiva Ollila). After an incident with a bird breaching into the family's house, Tinja finds an orphaned egg. She decides to take care of it and, later, of the bird-like creature that hatched from it – Alli. Things quickly turn ugly when it turns out that Alli will do everything to protect her caretaker – murder included...

 

The premise suggests that it's Alli, who's the main provider of horror in this film. And while she definitely has her moments (I'll talk about that later), she's not the main monster here. It's Tinja's mother. While she may seem kind on the surface, in fact she's a tyrant, who uses her family to fulfil her wishes. All she's doing is to keep the facade of having ideal family life to gain followers for her blog. At the same time she doesn't care about other people. It's especially visible in the way she treats Tinja. She pushes her to train as much as possible (despite the fact Tinja doesn't even like gymnastics that much!) just so her daughter would do good at the tournament and, so she could stream it. I have to admit, the portrayal of how toxic the mother is is extremely realistic here. Even when she seems to be behave nicely, you can easily see that she's doing it only to make Tinja act as she wants. Fuck, even, when she praises her daughter, she scolds her at the same time, constantly suggesting that she can do better. 

Some people may suggest that the mother is doing that because, due to her own life history, she wants to live through Tinja... Or because she was kept to incredibly high standards in her youth and is now perpetuating it. I'll be honest: I don't buy this explanation. The mother keeps abusing Tinja even after noticing that something is off, more, she uses it against her daughter, blaming her for all failures. She's a cold-blooded manipulator who only cares about herself and would do everything to get what she wants, even destroy lives of people around her. To me, there's no excuse for her behaviour, no redemption. She's just a bad parent.

Seriously, I can't remember when was the last time I hated a movie character this much. Fuck her.

All that treatment has a very bad impact on Tinja. She's just a child, determined to get approval of her parents. She's doing everything her mother wants, pushing herself harder and harder just to be worthy of mother's love. Even, when she's tired or upset, she doesn't show that to not destroy the illusion of perfection. This toxic relationship is reflected in the way Tinja treats Alli. Tinja doesn't get love she needs, so she loves Alli a lot. She cares about her "daughter", dedicates her time and energy to her, compliments her. Even, when Alli does horrific shit, Tinja still loves her. And Alli loves her back... Which is another reason why Tinja gets so attached to her – she knows Alli won't judge her.

Of course, Alli is still a monster. She doesn't understand a lot of human behaviours. She's often driven by animal instincts. And yet, she can act more human than Tinja's mother. It's especially visible in one of the late scenes, where Tinja, upset with Alli's actions, starts hitting herself to punish her (they have some kind of physical link and share senses) – violence is something Tinja has picked up from her mother. What does Alli do? She stops Tinja and hugs her until she calms down. She handles the situation much better, than Tinja's mother would, whose primary reaction is always anger.

I absolutely melted at all the scenes where Tinja cares for Alli. The whole movie may be pretty disturbing, but the love between them is really cute.

Tinja isn't the only person affected by mother's behaviour. Let's focus a little on the father. He comes off as passive, not stopping the mother from terrorising their children, not really wanting to even spend time with his family. However, it's easy to see that he's quite miserable and just lets the mother do what she wants to appease her. He's been living under her foot for so long, he doesn't care any more. He just wants some peace. One may ask why the hell did he marry her in the first place... But there's no evidence she behaved like that earlier. And people change. A lot.

There's also Tinja's brother, Matias. To be honest, I'm a bit conflicted about his character. On one hand, he's a whiny, spoiled brat, who constantly demands things from his parents and harasses his sister (the scene with the dog, holy shit, the scene with the dog!). During whole screening he was pissing me off immensely and I'd lie if I said I didn't hope for something to finally eat him. But on the other... He's a younger brother to a seemingly perfect child, Tinja. Their mother cares only about her and her gymnastic career. Their father doesn't do anything to help with that. No surprise Matias turned out the way he did. He most likely wasn't taught basic empathy. Also, deep inside, he must be as miserable, as everyone else. And can't express that, because again – no-one bothered to teach him.

Really, this family is fucked up as a whole... Which is probably the scariest thing about this whole story.

Psychological aspects aren't the only scary thing in "Hatching". This film is categorised as body horror for a good reason. With progress of the story, Alli gradually changes from a bird-like monster into a mirror image of Tinja (played by the same actress) and each stage is incredibly graphic. There is blood, deformed face, teeth poking out from where they shouldn't... The characterisation is stellar, everything looks really realistic. Siiri Solalinna also does a wonderful job as an actress – Alli moves and acts like a feral animal, which makes her very unsettling to watch.

This doesn't mean Alli isn't scary as a bird, though. Her first form is "played" by an animatronic – no CGI (or very little, I'm not sure) here. Because of that she's very real and her interactions with Tinja look natural. At the same time, she moves in a mechanical, erratic way, which adds a layer of uncanniness to her.

The sound design is great too. Alli doesn't speak, but she's still loud. Really loud. She gurgles, screeches or yells. And I can assure you, the blood-curling screams she makes, especially near the end of the movie, will make you shiver.

Alli is just awesome as a whole. Definitely my new favourite horror creature.

"Hatching" is really well paced, with good editing and the ending offering a very satisfying closure. It's a pleasure to watch (as much as a horror dealing with so many uncomfortable topics can be a pleasure) and I enjoyed it a lot. Do I recommend it? Of course! However, remember that this film runs on body horror and has some very triggering scenes related to animals (like the dog one...), so better check the triggers before seeing it.

Still, I think "Hatching" will join my collection of favourite movies. I loved it!

Image sources:

Poster: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Hatching_(film).jpeg

All stills were screenshot by me from the official trailer and belong to Nordisk Film and IFC Midnight.

Trailer: https://youtu.be/VtRNqe78x4o

The wildest cinematography in the world

Sion Sono has already made an appearance on this blog – as you may remember, I reviewed his "Love Exposure" in February 2021. Because of that, I had already expected "Red Post on Escher Street" to be truly wild ride. And I wasn't disappointed.

 

More, I loved it.

Sono's craziness my beloved.

Similarly to "Love Exposure", it's hard to describe the plot of "Red Post on Escher Street". While it isn't that long ("only" 2,5 hours), there's still a lot of happening. It tells a story of a new movie of Tadashi Kobayashi (Tatsuhiro Yamaoka), a very known and liked director. Kobayashi decides to cast amateurs instead of experienced actors and organises a giant audition. It catches attention of many people, who'd love to star in the film, including an independent theatre troupe, a little loony Kobayashi's fanclub, Yasuko Yabuki (Sen Fujimaru), a lady who stopped giving a fuck about anything some time ago, and Kiriko (Matsuki Kohira), a widow, who wants to follow steps of her deceased husband, an actor. As expected, during the audition (and later filming) chaos ensues, additionally fuelled by Kobayashi's own struggles with screenwriting and his battles with selfish movie producers.

 

Thanks to the overall idea revolving around auditions, there are many characters introduced. Actually, two thirds of the movie are basically character introductions. However, all of them are developed, have a unique backstory and serve a certain role in the plot. And while the huge number may seem hard to follow at first, thanks to them all being fleshed out and very different from each other, it's impossible to confuse them. All of them also have some impact on the finale, which ties all storylines and provides a very satisfactory ending to the whole movie.

Sono really did the impossible here.

This all wouldn't be possible without a good pacing. The movie is dynamic, but doesn't advance too quickly, allowing viewers to focus on important plot points and learn better about the characters. There are also some elements that repeat from time to time, like sending a letter via the titular red post or recurring subplot with construction workers blocking the road, which offers something familiar in the clusterfuck of events and helps organize it. Because of that, while there's always a lot happening, it's not tiring or overwhelming.

The acting is great too. Whole cast brings the best out of their quirky characters. They're very emotional and often overdramatize, but it matches the tone of the movie. It is supposed to be loud and overdramatized... Similarly to the film made by Kobayashi – from the fragments we can see, there's a lot of shouting and exalted behaviour in it, which may be a some kind of a meta joke about Sion Sono's own works.

In general, this movie is one, big meta commentary on filmmaking. Sono actually admitted, that some of the subplots were inspired by his own experiences – the arguments with producers being the best example. Kobayashi himself is also a good example of a realistic portrayal of an artist – he wants to create, but is burned out, struggles with artblock (which is why it's later Katako, his friend, who takes over writing the script for his newest movie) and has to fight with expectancies of other people and their attempts of meddling with his work. I have to admit that the scene, where he finally loses his shit, is extremely relatable to me – there's nothing worse than when you're trying to work, but others are constantly disturbing you...

Being an artist is hard. Period.

"Red Post on Escher Street" is a one wild movie. It's loud, colourful and, at the same time, just full of love. Despite the difficulties, Sion Sono loves what he's doing and you can feel it in this movie. I don't want to go into cheesy claptrap, but this work is an awesome love letter to the cinema as a whole. An absolutely enjoyable one.

I just love it.

Image sources:

Poster: https://twitter.com/escher_akaipost/status/1466252030192893954

All stills were screenshot by me from the official trailer and belong to Hikoki Films International and AMG Entertainment.

Trailer: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fp8iF9v54KU

No WiFi, no rules, only love!

I was eyeing "As We Like It" before the festival had even started. A crazy love adventure in a world, where gender borders do not exist? Sounds interesting, sign me in. The fact my lovely ex-girlfriend had watched it before and liked it only fuelled my excitement.

And holy shit, I was sure I'd enjoy this movie, but I didn't expect to love it this much!

If I were to make "Top 10 movies I've watched this year", "As We Like It" would definitely be number one.

Based on Shakespeare's "As You Like It" and set in near future, the movie follows story of Rosalind (Hsueh-Fu Kuo) and her cousin Celia (Camille Chalons). The girls come to Ximending, an internet free Taipei district, to find true love. During her first days here, Rosalind meets Orlando (Aggie Hsieh), to whom she introduces herself as Rose. The boy is smitten by her beautiful eyes and smell and immediately falls in love with her. However, when they later meet, he doesn't recognize her – mainly because Rosalind adopted male persona and started going as Roosevelt, Rose's twin brother. Together they look for Rosalind's missing father, an owner of a family company. The treasure-hunt-like adventure leads them from one interesting place to another, where they meet various people and slowly realise what it means to be in love.

If I were to describe "As We Like It" with only one word, it would be "bubbly". It's fast-paced, full of bright colours and energy. The bubbliness is often amplified by animated overlays that either serve aesthetic purpose or are meant as jokes (like the mock video game interfaces when Orlando is taking part in boxing match and later, when he and Roosevelt are being chased). However, the most important thing is that this movie has almost no drama. While there are some conflicts between characters, nothing is serious and everything can be solved pretty quickly. Because of that, "As We Like It" is very light-hearted and just makes you feel good – a perfect film to relax to.

The "no drama" rule applies to a topic of gender too. Rosalind's transformation into Roosevelt is treated very lightly. She just has her hair cut, wears some stereotypically male clothes, uses he/him and bam, she's a man. All the time, Roosevelt is supported by Celia – they jokingly flirt with each other and make funny remarks. Orlando's attraction to Rose and later Roosevelt is treated in similar way. While first he's horribly confused when he realises that this mysterious guy looks and smells like the girl he fell in love with (which gets hilariously summed up with him looking right into the camera and commenting "But I prefer women!"), when later Roosevelt says that if Orlando woos him, Rose would fall for him too, Orlando has no problem with it. And I think it won't be a big spoiler if I say that in the end, the moral of the story is "love doesn't care about gender"?

Another scene related to the topic that I absolutely loved is one from the ending, when two secondary characters, a couple, are getting ready for an arrival of their child and go shopping together. They have a little argument if the baby will be a girl (so they should get pink stuff) or a boy (so everything should be blue). The conflict is solved by the shop assistant, who suggests getting everything in white, so "the baby will later choose by themself". I absolutely love what this scene suggests and how it ties with the whole movie. Because indeed, while we all are a certain gender, the gender presentation is something everyone chooses on their own.

And I think it's beautiful.

The untraditional approach to gender doesn't end on the story, though. The cast is exclusively female. Yes, that includes all male roles: Orlando, his brother Oliver, Mr. Silver and others are all played by actresses. It serves as a nice inversion of a centuries-long theatre rule, which allowed only male actors to play. It's also a reference to Takarazuka – Japanese theatre revue specializing in lavish performances, where are roles are played by women.

The Takarazuka reference isn't the only thing that ties the move with theatre. The acting is actually very theatre-like: the characters react in overdramatised way, with exaggerated gestures and emotions. They also sometimes monologue or break the fourth wall. It all matches the not very serious tone of the film pretty well. You can also see how much actors had fun while filming.

While we are at the topic of fun: I absolutely adore this movie's humour. There's a lot of comedy here, including gags related to the fact Orlando has no idea who Roosevelt is. However, they are never offensive or make the viewer uncomfortable (and I'm saying that as a transgender person. Actually, the scene where Roosevelt goes to the public bathroom with Orlando and has to somehow mask the fact he needs to use a sanitary pad from him is my favourite one. The acting really sells it!). There's plenty of sexual comedy too, often very straightforward. I have to admit, I cackled watching Orlando (who gets a job as a delivery guy) trying to somehow fit a sex doll on his motorbike, with really poor results. And later scene with Orlando very suggestively cleaning Roosevelt's ears brought me to tears from laughing (again, awesome acting!). I loved it.

I don't know what my love for raunchy jokes says about me as a person... But let's be honest, I don't care.

"As We Like It" also won my heart by being unapologetically queer. Apart from the gender topic and gender-bending acting, there's a lot of same-sex couples appearing on the screen. Actually, most of episodic characters are in same-sex relationships. They are always happy and in love and such positive representation warmed my heart while watching. As I mentioned earlier, there's no dramas, only love.

I think there's no surprise that I recommend this movie a lot. It's wonderful, extremely pleasant to watch and very entertaining. It's also very unique, with its bubbliness and queerness. To be honest, "As We Like It" is definitely one of the best movies I've ever watched. And I hope you all will enjoy it too!

Honestly, this film is love. Just love.

 

Image sources:

Poster: https://mydramalist.com/photos/B4YAl_4

All stills were screenshot by me from the official trailer and belong to Red Society Film and Swallow Wings Films.

Trailer: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HBcwcWNoWLk

Little village, giant danger

TRIGGER WARNING: The movie discussed here deals with with a theme of suicide. Reader discretion is advised.

 

Sometimes you can encounter a true cinematographic gem completely by accident. When I saw that there's a horror available during this year's Five Flavours Festival, I didn't hesitate to add it to my watchlist. I don't think it's very surprising, you all know how much I love horrors. And if you follow me on Twitter, then you probably know what I'm talking about and how watching it went.

That was probably the most appropriate way I could describe this film at the moment.

"Death Knot" is Cornelio Sunny's debut as a director. Inspired by Indonesian native beliefs, it follows the story of Hari (Cornelio Sunny), his younger sister Eka (Widika Sidmore) and her husband, Adi (Morgan Oey), as they come back to siblings' home village after their mothers' sudden suicide. The situation is suspicious from the beginning, given the fact they both saw her in a dream the night before. The villagers also seem to be very hostile towards the family, accusing the mother of black magic and bringing death to the village. Are they right or is everything they say just some superstitions?

"Death Knot" may seem quite cliched, however, the fact the plot stems from Indonesian folk brings a lot of freshness to the concept. The movie builds the atmosphere of uneasiness on the fact the audience has no idea what's going on for most of the time. It doesn't hold back – the first scene we see is Hari and Eka's mother performing some ritual in the forest at night. It's dark, the soundtrack is loud and cacophonous, the woman is doing some sinister looking dance, which culminates in her climbing a tree and hanging herself. Whole sequence is overwhelming and, due to lack of explanation, extremely creepy. It also contrasts with following introduction of main characters – we see Hari texting his sister, while laying in bed in his house.

In general, for most of the time we observe the events unfold, but don't understand them. The fact main characters are similarly confused makes us identify with them and, as a result, immerse better in the story. Also the clash between supernatural occurrences and siblings' mundane reality amplifies the uneasiness. The contrast is especially visible in scenes with Hari, who's a down-to-earth atheist, trying to find an explanation that doesn't involve any magical forces.

As we can expect, he fails. Badly.

Unlike most horrors, "Death Knot" doesn't have any jumpscares. Instead, it relies on slowly building the atmosphere by making us expect something scary to happen (often, nothing happens). Another fear inducing method it utilizes perfectly is uncanny valley. In later part, we often witness the characters behave weirdly: smile too wide, move in an erratic way, talk with unusual phrases. It hints at the fact  there is something inhuman in control of them. However, the scare wouldn't be that effective if not great acting. In general, the movie puts a huge emphasis on actors and their performances. It also compensates for lack of any special effects.

The film has a rather somber tone. Not only the plot is dramatic. The colours are bleak and foggy, creating a gloomy atmosphere. It fits the main theme of the story – suicides – and the family drama that follows. And again, this tone wouldn't be achieved without believable performance. I especially liked Widika Sidmore – she shines in more emotional scenes. You can feel the strain that the difficult situation has put on Eka and Hari's relations.

Nothing surprising, anyone would snap if they were treated with such hostility...

"Death Knot" is very well paced, effectively alternating between the intense moments and more peaceful, "breather" ones. The exposition is also dosed in small parts, which prevents a sudden infodump and keeps the audience interested. The ending doesn't disappoint either – it's open, but still gives a satisfying conclusion to the plot. I also like the sudden tonal changes in the finale, especially the moment when Hari finally snaps. Cornelio Sunny's performance is great in this scene and it's hard not to pity him.

To be honest, "Death Knot" is one of the best horrors I've seen lately. It's atmospheric, well-made and just very interesting. I can definitely recommend it, especially to people, who like folk-themed horror and aren't keen on jumpscares.

It really is a hidden gem.

Image sources:

Poster: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt14892248/mediaviewer/rm3536452353/

All stills were screenshot by me from the official trailer and belong to Good Move Media.

Trailer: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9-P6DlFAsEw