I'll be honest: my love life is a fucking disaster.
.
.
.
Okay, maybe I'm overreacting a little bit. But when I talk with my friends about love and see, that most of people in my surroundings have someone, I start wondering what's wrong with me. I've already been in two relationships, but both ended in less than two months. My first relationship was... Pretty complicated. Long story short, I dated a nice boy, who later turned out to be a toxic liar (I have to admit, he apologised... A year later. Via Messenger. Fuck, he could at least call me!). My second one was with a girl from my university and we are still friends – she's lovely, kind and talking with her is pure pleasure.
Why am I talking about that? Well, because of my varied experience with breakups I associate different songs with this topic (and my both exes). And this post will be about these particular songs. Enjoy!
Bring Me The Horizon "Go To Hell, For Heaven's Sake"
I started listening Bring Me The Horizon shortly after I got dumped by my boyfriend and I fell in love instantly. Their heavy music and Ollie's aggressive screaming corresponded with my mood pretty well – I was both pissed at my ex and heartbroken at the same time. I was also pissed at myself, because I didn't have enough courage to tell him what I thought. This song matches all my emotions, especially disappointment, that the person I loved turned out completely different than they seemed. And anger. Massive anger.
MY FIRST STORY "Last Call"
This song is quite similar to the previous one when it comes to emotions. However, there is one major difference: in this one there is also sorrow. Of course, Ollie also sings about broken heart, but Hiro is more straightforward about feelings. It's easy to hear that his rage is fuelled with sadness. His vocal is so emotional, it's easy to identify with the lyrics. Listening to "Last Call" has really cathartic effect for me.
BlutEngel "The War Between Us"
Aftermath of a break-up. A violent break-up. Actually, it sums up how I get on with my ex-boyfriend pretty well – I don't. I hate him. We don't talk, we don't meet, but I want to punch him in the face (and mind the fact I'm a rather pacifistic person). I just can't forgive him...
Creep-P fest. Hatsune Miku "Cotton Candy"
The fact this song is about perfect relationship unexpectedly going awful makes it very relatable. I remember how much I was crying while listening to it after the first break-up. Three years have passed and "Cotton Candy" still reminds me about this sadness. But I like Creep-P's works too much to stop listening to this song. The electronics are just amazing.
Sweet Revenge feat. Megurine Luka "Forbidden Happiness"
This song doesn't remind me about any of my exes, but it matches the topic and I like it very much. I adore the melody, the lyrics and the way Luka sings. Actually, it was one of my first vocaloid songs ever and I think I wouldn't have got so much into vocal synthesizers if I hadn't found Sweet Revenge's music.
Illumenium feat. MYrK "My Last Cocaine"
[This song's music video isn't public on YouTube, so I'll just leave a link to the Facebook post.]
For some weird reason (maybe it was something she said or the fact I was madly in love to the point of craziness, I don't know) shortly after we begun dating I started associating this song with my then girlfriend and it just stuck. I don't think it's bad. As I mentioned, we get on really well and listening to "My Last Cocaine" brings me memories of the happiness I felt while being in that relationship. Damn, even if it ended I'm still pretty happy. Have I already said how awesome my ex-girlfriend is?
Solar Fake "The Pain That Kills You Too"
I got hooked up on this song shortly after my second break-up. It was a very peaceful one, but I think it's understandable I was a little bit heartbroken. This song really helped me cope with it. Maybe it was the topic of not wanting to hurt the other person, maybe it was the soothing melody line and the emotions in Svens voice, I'm not sure. What really matters is how relieved I felt while listening... And the fact I'm not heartbroken any more. I'm glad I and my ex-girlfriend are friends and hope it won't change.
Thom Yorke "Unmade"
Actually, I could put whole "Suspiria's" soundtrack here... Before we started dating, I took my ex-girlfriend to the cinema to this movie. We both enjoyed it and I still think it was one of the best cinema shows in my whole life.
As you can see (hear?), the songs vary depending on who I associate particular ones with. I think the Aesop coming from my both relationships is pretty simple: it's the end that matters the most. Being amicable exes isn't difficult, you just need to talk it over and be respectful.
Damn, I didn't plan to end this post with such a preachy text, but I just couldn't help...
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