What measure is a Non-Goth?

There is a Facebook group I belong to. The group focuses on a certain gothic festival. Because of that members often exchange musical recommendations. Normal thing, right? Of course. However, I noticed a rather worrying tendency: some recommendations get bashed by other members as "not goth enough". I would (kinda) understand that, if said recommendations weren't... Well, gothic bands. Or dark music. Or weren't connected to gothic aesthetics in other ways. Anyway, last week someone asked if Kamijo's solo project would match the festival. As expected, people started to comment that it's "not goth enough"... And then someone wrote that music by visual kei artists "is only listened by teenage girls in pink dresses".

This was the moment my annoyance reached zenith. There are three reasons.

Primo: I'M A GOTH AND I LISTEN TO VISUAL KEI BANDS, DOES IT FUCKING MAKE ME LESS GOTH, DEAR FACEBOOK USER?! *cleans her throat* I mean, I felt slightly offended.

Second reason is somehow connected to the first one: who has the right to judge if something is or isn't gothic enough?

As long as subcultures/music genres/aesthetic styles/things like that exist, there's always been a question: is something X enough? The answer isn't usually simple (except for extremities, of course). For example, gothic subculture embraces various ways of expression: music, clothes, make up, visual art, attitude etc. That allows great diversity among goths. However, many people don't understand the concept and narrow being a goth to wearing "appropriately gothic" clothes and listening to dark music (usually only old bands, newer ones aren't "true"). This leads to many misunderstandings, because for people like that if someone doesn't look typically goth, then isn't goth at all.

"Typically goth" usually means something like that. BTW This look slays.

However, it's very unlikely to meet someone who has full-blown goth appearance all the time. While people like this exist (and I'm really impressed by them), they are minority. Reason is simple: fancy gothic style, while beautiful, isn't convenient for everyday life. Art by Andi often addresses this issue. Gothic clothes tend to be slightly uncomfortable (to be honest, I find all skirts and dresses quite uncomfortable...) and gothic make up takes time.

Damn, for me make up ALWAYS takes a lot of time and when I have to decide between making myself up and sleeping longer... Well, one look gives away what my sleep-deprived brain always chooses. Same thing with clothes – it's much easier to see me in my adorable eevee hoodie than frilly gothic top. When I spend most day at the university, comfort is a priority, especially, if my health issues kick in...

Other thing are stereotypes. Some people believe goths are always sad, pale brunettes and don't accept other variants. Truth is, the fact someone is goth doesn't mean they must be sad, have pale skin and black hair. Similarly, sad, pale brunettes don't have to be goth – they can be, for example, Japanese ghosts.

No, I don't say being Japanese ghost bans someone from being goth.

Qualifying music as goth/non-goth is also problematic. Generally, assigning music genres is problematic. Usually I just check what musicians themself say about their creations – they know the best what they make. And when it comes to judging "suitability for goths"... Is it dark? Does it have gothic vibe? Yes? Then it is suitable for goths.

Of course, it doesn't mean listening to non-goth music and, generally, liking non-goth things make someone less goth. Fuck, you can listen whatever you like and dress whatever you like and as long as you think you are a goth – you are a goth. No one, I say, NO ONE has right to judge if you are or aren't a goth. You think your attitude and interests match gothic subculture? You like dark things? You feel you are a goth with your whole black heart? Then you. Are. A. Goth. Amen.

(What I said also applies to other subcultures and similar, I just focused on goths because I am one).

Last but not least, third reason: the comment about teenagers in pink dresses basically oozed with disdain. In context it sounded like being a teenage girl, wearing pink dress and listening to visual kei artists was something bad or, at least, worse than being "truly goth". Okay, I understand that dividing society in groups (subcultures, fandoms etc.) always leads to perceiving people from outside particular group as "others". But does it mean said "others" are worse just because they aren't "one of us"? Hell, no!

Judging people by their interests and styles has always been one of human's worst flaws. De gustibus non est disputandum, they say, and yet many people look down on others because of their likings. I don't believe there are people who have never done that. Damn, even I am guilty of it. When I was younger, I used to divide music into "good music" (this is, music I like) and "bad music" (the rest). It took me years to finally realise there is no such thing as "bad music". There exist songs that are weak technically (off tone vocals, poor instrumentals etc.). There are artists who have toxic personality and let it show in their compositions. THIS is what I can eventually call "bad music". But the fact I don't like something doesn't mean it's bad and people who enjoy it aren't worth my time! Unfortunately, many people don't understand that. Result? Some time ago I stumbled upon a confession of a metalhead who felt ashamed because he liked cute idol groups.

I'm not surprised he liked them, cute idol groups are amazing.

When I observe people arguing over tastes, I always wonder: why can't they just accept others' opinions? As long as nobody gets hurt, all of them are fine. Even, if someone's taste may seem weird, they shouldn't be ashamed of it. Shame on people who look down on others. And, who try to force their tastes on others.

One last thing: the fact an artist has many teenage fans doesn't mean their works are childish and shallow and shouldn't be enjoyed by adults. They are just liked by teenagers. That's all.


By the way, most fans of visual kei are adults. They aren't only women either. But given the popularity of certain stereotypes, I'm not surprised many people don't know that...






Image sources:
Typical goth: https://knowyourmeme.com/photos/982349-goth
Sadako: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0178868/mediaviewer/rm3065930496
Dreamcatcher group photo: https://twitter.com/hf_dreamcatcher/status/1231548923484856320 

Amen(o) to that!

A little sketchy thing, because I couldn't leave this meme without a comment. At least I can finally say I listened to something before it was cool...

(By the way, I made long, three-panel comic strip... And then Blogger had problems displaying it as a single image. Damn).

Life OST: My Ex Index

Hello, sweethearts!

I'll be honest: my love life is a fucking disaster.
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Okay, maybe I'm overreacting a little bit. But when I talk with my friends about love and see, that most of people in my surroundings have someone, I start wondering what's wrong with me. I've already been in two relationships, but both ended in less than two months. My first relationship was... Pretty complicated. Long story short, I dated a nice boy, who later turned out to be a toxic liar (I have to admit, he apologised... A year later. Via Messenger. Fuck, he could at least call me!). My second one was with a girl from my university and we are still friends – she's lovely, kind and talking with her is pure pleasure.

Why am I talking about that? Well, because of my varied experience with breakups I associate different songs with this topic (and my both exes). And this post will be about these particular songs. Enjoy!

Bring Me The Horizon "Go To Hell, For Heaven's Sake"

I started listening Bring Me The Horizon shortly after I got dumped by my boyfriend and I fell in love instantly. Their heavy music and Ollie's aggressive screaming corresponded with my mood pretty well – I was both pissed at my ex and heartbroken at the same time. I was also pissed at myself, because I didn't have enough courage to tell him what I thought. This song matches all my emotions, especially disappointment, that the person I loved turned out completely different than they seemed. And anger. Massive anger.

MY FIRST STORY "Last Call"

This song is quite similar to the previous one when it comes to emotions. However, there is one major difference: in this one there is also sorrow. Of course, Ollie also sings about broken heart, but Hiro is more straightforward about feelings. It's easy to hear that his rage is fuelled with sadness. His vocal is so emotional, it's easy to identify with the lyrics. Listening to "Last Call" has really cathartic effect for me.

BlutEngel "The War Between Us"

Aftermath of a break-up. A violent break-up. Actually, it sums up how I get on with my ex-boyfriend pretty well – I don't. I hate him. We don't talk, we don't meet, but I want to punch him in the face (and mind the fact I'm a rather pacifistic person). I just can't forgive him...

Creep-P fest. Hatsune Miku "Cotton Candy"

The fact this song is about perfect relationship unexpectedly going awful makes it very relatable. I remember how much I was crying while listening to it after the first break-up. Three years have passed and "Cotton Candy" still reminds me about this sadness. But I like Creep-P's works too much to stop listening to this song. The electronics are just amazing.

Sweet Revenge feat. Megurine Luka "Forbidden Happiness"

This song doesn't remind me about any of my exes, but it matches the topic and I like it very much. I adore the melody, the lyrics and the way Luka sings. Actually, it was one of my first vocaloid songs ever and I think I wouldn't have got so much into vocal synthesizers if I hadn't found Sweet Revenge's music.

Illumenium feat. MYrK "My Last Cocaine"

[This song's music video isn't public on YouTube, so I'll just leave a link to the Facebook post.]

For some weird reason (maybe it was something she said or the fact I was madly in love to the point of craziness, I don't know) shortly after we begun dating I started associating this song with my then girlfriend and it just stuck. I don't think it's bad. As I mentioned, we get on really well and listening to "My Last Cocaine" brings me memories of the happiness I felt while being in that relationship. Damn, even if it ended I'm still pretty happy. Have I already said how awesome my ex-girlfriend is?

Solar Fake "The Pain That Kills You Too"

I got hooked up on this song shortly after my second break-up. It was a very peaceful one, but I think it's understandable I was a little bit heartbroken. This song really helped me cope with it. Maybe it was the topic of not wanting to hurt the other person, maybe it was the soothing melody line and the emotions in Svens voice, I'm not sure. What really matters is how relieved I felt while listening... And the fact I'm not heartbroken any more. I'm glad I and my ex-girlfriend are friends and hope it won't change.

Thom Yorke "Unmade"

Actually, I could put whole "Suspiria's" soundtrack here... Before we started dating, I took my ex-girlfriend to the cinema to this movie. We both enjoyed it and I still think it was one of the best cinema shows in my whole life.


As you can see (hear?), the songs vary depending on who I associate particular ones with. I think the Aesop coming from my both relationships is pretty simple: it's the end that matters the most. Being amicable exes isn't difficult, you just need to talk it over and be respectful.

Damn, I didn't plan to end this post with such a preachy text, but I just couldn't help...